Day 7 - Old Map & New Map of Anger

Written By Sybille Biedert
 

Context for Day 7

The Old Map of Anger - The stories we made growing up 
Anger is generally seen as something to fear, suppress, fix, or control.

Examples of what you may have learned and created a belief about Anger:

  • Anger is dangerous.

  • Anger hurts people.

  • Good people don't get angry.

  • If I'm angry, something is wrong with me.

  • If you're angry, I should defend myself or make you stop.

  • Anger is violence.

  • The goal is to calm down, manage it, or get rid of it.

This old map teaches us to disconnect from one of our four core feelings. The result is numbness, resentment, depression, passive aggression, burnout, people pleasing, or explosive outbursts because the energy has nowhere healthy to go.

The New Map of Anger - What we are practising here to offer you a new possibility 

A completely different relationship with anger.

  • Anger is one of the Four Feelings, alongside fear, sadness and joy.

  • Anger is neither good nor bad.

  • Anger is information.

  • Anger lets me know what I deeply care about and want. 

  • Anger shows you what matters.

  • Anger sets boundaries.

  • Anger allows you to say No and Yes with clarity.

  • Anger gives you the energy to create change.

  • Anger becomes destructive only when it is unconscious.

Rather than trying to get rid of anger or release it, the practice here is to become conscious enough to use its intelligence. You can treat Anger like a compass. Just as north is not bad and south is not good, anger is simply one direction of human intelligence.

Conscious Anger

Conscious anger is not about attacking people.

It is the ability to:

  • Feel anger fully and let it bring you alive when you allow it.

  • Remain present.

  • Stay connected to your heart.

  • Communicate clearly.

  • Take responsibility for your experience.

  • Use the energy to create what you care about.

Instead of asking yourself: "How do I stop being angry?"

Now asks yourself: “What does my anger care about?"

That question changes everything. Anger becomes fuel for creating boundaries, intimacy, justice, creativity, and authentic action instead of blame or punishment.

Practice of the Day

Practice 1
Set a timer and ask yourself these questions. (Do this 3 times today if you can)

Am I angry about something?
Was I angry about anything today?
Pause - get curious 
See if you can notice any anger in yourself, especially in low levels - something small that bothered you.

Write this down.
Then get curious where you are scared to feel and express your anger,
I feel scared to feel and express my anger because… 

Practice 2
Choose one word from the new map that resonates with you, something you want more of. Then write it on the inside of your hand (or somewhere you will consistently see it) and every time you look at it, practise it, embody it for a moment, make a shape of it and then add it into your day. 

For example:
Write ‘action’ on your hand. Every time you look at it, make a shape with your body that embodies ACTION. Then check where right now can you take ACTION?
What is something you have been procrastinating and avoiding? Take that one step forward!

What we explored today;
The Old Map vs The New Map of Anger

What is coming tomorrow;
Intiation to the ‘I want dojo’

Back to home page
 
Sybille Biedert https://www.embodiedfreedom.co.nz
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Day 6 - Five Bodies