Europe Tour - Ignite your Radiance Poland - Holland - Berlin - Muenchen
I want an adventure. I have a NO to another winter in Golden Bay!!
I made this declaration on my 50th Birthday 2025, here is a sharing of my experience.
Last year in 2024 I went to Germany to take a careful first step. I returned with a declaration to return in June 2025 to follow up on the seeds I had sown. I then created a Europe tour, a mix of adventure, family deep dive, and fear practice of learning to navigate myself to lean into a more nomadic life.
I love to read your comments and hear how this sharing landed in you. Love Sybille
Europe Journey
Europe—Frankfurt, Poland, Berlin, Holland, and Munich, Frankfurt. Each stop was a training ground, each place a mirror. I met edges I didn’t know I had, I found sisters and colleagues, I faced fear and resistance, and I also found deep gratitude, connection, and magic. What follows here is not a polished article, insted a raw story of what happened, how I grew, and what I learned along the way. May it offer you some insights and inspiration to follow your impulse for adventure.
Poland - DOM I LAS Community, out in Nature
First Embodied Freedom Movement Spaceholder Training outside of NZ.
Before this training my fear kept on growing. It was my first time holding a training outside of my home ground. Until then, I had held this training three times in New Zealand, in the container of my village, with a well trained team, in my home at M’Ocean Song. That’s where I grew the muscles to offer this training and here was in unfamiliar ground.
Flying to Poland and holding it there was a leap. I kept meeting the edge of my capacity again and again. Each time, I had to upgrade myself, stretch into something bigger, fiercer. To keep taking a stand that it isn’t a workshop—it’s a training. That asks for a different level of commitment, a sharper container, and more responsibility for the participants.
The space itself was fierce and deep. Participants and Jan and I went through the washing machine first, and then on the other side everyone could hold a beautiful space: weaving in the five bodies, the four feelings, opening doors through prompts with individual soundscapes that carried us through all five bodies.
My biggest learning was that I can radically rely on the context of Possibility Management. Jan the organizer and I had never held space together before. We had many online calls and that was the ground to hold a training together. We both fully committed to the space doing whatever it takes, being with many beeps, giving feedback to each other, shifted and went again. It was new for me to hold space with another man that I did not know. I had only ever held space with a man and this level of trust alongside my partner Jason. With Jan, I learned how colleagues can meet in clarity and create together and fly.
What all those beeps and goes gave me as a gift was the clarity the necessity. I find new ways to keep going in myself. I’m grateful for that.
Holland - Ignite your Radiance
I attended a Dutch women’s festival for ten days, not knowing anyone beforehand. Part of this experience was intentionally going into a space where I didn’t know anyone, to see if I could hold space for myself, offer workshops, and cultivate new connections.
Because I didn’t speak Dutch, I had to keep bringing myself. Every woman around me was speaking Dutch. It took me about three days to fully settle into the reality that this was purely a women’s space and wow its such a relaxing clarity. I felt nourished simply by being in the field of so many women.
While I sometimes felt lonely, I also had a sense of connection to all the women I had met in past chapters of my life, the Blooming Sisters, the Tides Rites of Passage creation from 22 years ago, Radically Alive Events, Women of Earth labs and all the festivals I have been with the SoulHumers and the Wahine Wainui Warriors, a group of young women that I am creating events and live with. All these connections of women and the events I have been part of merged in me and giving me a embodied experience that all the women were standing beside me.
The three workshops at the festival I offered were challenging in a new way: their sound systems were basic, I had no team, and I had to navigate constant shifts in the environment. When music didn’t work as planned, I shifted to rage work without movement, testing a level of flexibility and groundlessness I hadn’t experienced in myself.
Here is a video filmed by a women walking past outside the ‘Ignite Your Radiance’ workshop at the festival, showing ‘Fuck This Shit’ warming up the space for Embodied Rage, with women responding to the call and joining in.
Many participants from these workshops later joined the weekend workshops, Ignite Your Radiance, which I held with Amy, Janine, and Iris in another city ‘Utrecht’. Holding space with a team that is familiar with the context of Possibility Management was empowering with the radical reliance on each other.
The space itself for the weekend workshop was a challenge. An old psychiatric ward, next to an old women’s prison, with small cells that carried a strong energetic flavor. I intentionally asked my gremlin, Rahu, to hold energetic space in the days leading up to create a container. It was summer, windows had no handle to open them, and I faced my own resistance, my box, and the unpredictability of the space. Yet, navigating all of this and feeling my fear and letting my box freak out and moving on. No way I would have booked this venue if I would have know and then would have missed this opportunity of noticing what is possible. This actually was one of my big learnings. Showing up for the workshops without organizing the venue and sound system, that I could not be setting up for hours before to make sure the space was ‘perfect’, or bringing drala, tapestry, and all the things I normally do that I thought was essential. I had none of that. Once I let go and surrendered to what I do have, the spaces began to fly.
I had a personal interest in running my first workshop around the myth of motherhood in Holland. Drawing on my own experience about motherhood, being in the process of graduating, and having held space for many young adults over the past few years and lived with many young women. In preparation for the mother myth, there was so much that wanted to come through. I had so many impulses, so many distinctions I wanted to bring about low drama, and how the rescuer role limits young people around ages 18–19, and how not giving them responsibility adds to their overwhelm in this already dysfunctional world. I also found a bunch more healing sessions for myself in my own limitations as a mother.
I touched so many layers of my deep sadness about the young adults festival scene in NZ and the realization that I can’t really “fix” it; I can only involve myself and bring myself. These young people they are also my community and whats happening is also my responsibility. This clarity revealed again how central this work with young people is to my archetypal lineage, particularly since the young woman I connect with most closely has been the group I’ve stayed connected to over these two and a half months. I find connecting with young women keeps me open and less serious.
In this mother myth workshop, I want to acknowledge that there is so much more I wish to share and explore with mothers of older children and young adults. The depths of how challenging it is to have an “I Want Dojo” as a mother, because of getting in touch with the wants is so covered up. It requires so much to set aside the learned myths; that a devoted mother’s center is best with her children and family, to be good Mother. Mothers are trained to believe that a devoted mother’s center is with her children and cultivating her own center is essential and not available in modern culture.
Berlin
From there, I continued my journey to Berlin, also meeting my son Theo for the first time again. He came with me to Germany; we shared the flight together, and then he spent a few days meeting his German family. He’s 21, and then he went off on an incredible journey of radical freedom, attending festivals, DJing, and having a completely different experience than me. I remember letting go some more when he left on the train, feeling a part of me longing to do what he was doing: just go to festivals, have an amazing time, and live fully into that freedom. I tracked that longing to make space in Australia to follow it so it has a place to unfold.
Seeing him in Berlin was a unique experience for both of us. We live most of our time in New Zealand, in the remote TUI community, surrounded by National Park. And here we were, in a vibrant, loud and dirty city. Berlin taught me something. If you’re trying to be special here, forget it because you can’t. I discovered this old freedom while biking with a massive backpack, another large bag, and a smaller pack. I realized I hadn’t yet learned to travel light, but somehow I managed, and the city showed me that no one gives a second thought. You can wear, look, do, sleep, yell, or just exist however you want. It’s a city where no one can be special and everyone is speacial and that was liberating.
My plan to explore the nightlife shifted quickly when I saw the endless lines and closed clubs. Instead, I found joy biking everywhere fast with high fear online. Berlin’s neighborhoods felt like little villages, each with its own flavor, style, and people, and biking through them gave me glimpse of the city’s rhythm. Johanna, from the German PM village, hosted me in her flat with six others.
By the end of this, I was full and wanted a few days on my own. I reached out and found space with Christopher also from the PM Village, whom we had also met in Berlin, and shared some wonderful evenings. One of the most moving experiences was an incredible fundraiser concert for Gaza, which I share in the Movement Journey. Two women, one from Israel, one from Gaza, sang together, performing the “Prayer for the Mothers in Gaza,” a worldwide song raising awareness for mothers from Gazaa. It touched me deeply. I sang with my full heart and cried openly, honoring these powerful women making visible that connection is possible despite religion or war. It reminded me to consider my own place in standing for what matters, igniting the radiance of other women so that they feel empowered and awake, and to keep this movement alive. I felt deeply connected to these women and to all the Rage Club spaceholders, sensing them standing with me in this energy of what is unexceptable.
Afterwards, I biked through Berlin for an hour with a blown-open heart, also feeling the city’s sadness: so many homeless people, so much dirt, so much numbness. That edge I walked every day to be numb too and moving in and out of it keeping choosing to feel. This became a dance for me, to fully witness what I see, to stay present with the pain without collapsing. It was a challenging, and learning experience.
Munich
And finally, Munich, the completion of the journey. Here the two bright principles that had been most alive with at the moment, embodiment and magic to connect with.
Embodiment not only as something I hold for others, but as me inhabiting my own physical body, whatever is going on. Magic as something I am more and more unfolding in myself.
When I heard that Samoto and Michaela, were offering an embodied magic weekend, I wanted to be there. I hadn’t met Samoto in person before. So I traveled with two wonderful Possibiltators from Berlin, and along the way stayed with more Possibiltators, sharing about pm villages and what’s alive in the New Zealand village. More threads in the global weave.
After the workshop came quieter days with my mom and my sister. Last year I came to Germany to reconnect with my mom, Barbara after eight years of not seeing her and healing to be done. This year we went continued and I stayed with her for 10 days. It’s not easy for her, me arriving with all my aliveness, feelings and possibility into her small apartment. A lot of box navigation for both of us, which is another article to much for here. It was closeness. It was deepening. It was challenging.
I also celebrate myself. Last year when I left Germany I said: “Next year, on June 1st, I’ll come back for longer, and hold spaces.” And I did. I do what I say I’ll do. Even when it’s scary. Especially when it’s scary.
So I completed the journey in Munich, in the holding of the women of my family. Quieter at the end. Letting it all settle.
Where my journey with women started and continues to grow.
That was Chapter One of my journey.
Seeds are planted to continue leaning into a nomadic life, with invitations to:
Embodied Intimacy: a 5-day deep dive in Perth, July 2026
Ignite Your Radiance: a 3-day women’s deep dive in Holland, September
Embodied Intimacy Journey: a 5-day experience in Portugal, October
Embodied Freedom Movement: 5-day spaceholder training following the Portugal journey
The journey continues…
Now I am in Australia, entering Chapter Two: meeting the man I choose to walk by my side.
I am stepping into a three-month space, mostly off technology, to dive deeply into my own embodiment. There are a few distinctions I want to research in myself so I can later share what I discover:
The relationship between sexual energy and Nature — being in nature, sensing its aliveness, and noticing it in myself.
Creating clear space between sensual touch and sexual touch, so I can ask for each more consciously and feel the difference in my body.
Researching how sensual touch can empower conscious fear to flow, and how sadness and fear can bring movement to the places in my body that are asking for attention.
Part of this exploration will be making recordings for each body, each with its own soundscape, and listening to how each responds.
I feel joy in having created this space to research. I will share discoveries here, sporadically, as they unfold.