Week 2 - Conscious Anger
This will be the week that will give you the fuel to make shifts and keep them going. Buckle up, this week is intense, enliven your fire, embody your warrior . Remember what you are angry about is what you really care about!
Below is this week’s content for you to practice over the next 7 days.
Everything in this 6 weeks journey builds on the weeks before! Keep centering especially before anger practise!
Your schedule for week 2: Before any of the following practises - Center yourself (week 1)
Monday: Listen to the context for this week & practice your first ‘I want Dojo’
Tuesday: Fully commit to do the 50min Embody Change Movement Session - take a moment afterwards to feel
Wednesday: Listen to the Dragon speaking practise - make a 1 min video of what you take a stand for
- share it in the group!! Make it personal !Friday: Read through the resources and make a list of 10 YES’s you have and 10 NO’s - share list in group
What is Below
1) Context for this week - Listen first before moving
2) ‘I Want Dojo’ - Context & Instructions part 1
Spaceholding for your practise part 2
3) Move - Embody Change - Activate your voice
4) Practise - What do you take a stand for? Dragon speaking
5) Resources below to go deeper & practise more
1) Context for this week -
Listen first before moving
Week 2 - Practise
2) ‘I Want Dojo’
- Context & Instructions
Week 2 - Practise
2) ‘I want dojo’
- Spaceholding for your practise
‘I Want Dojo’ - I am holding space for you time, to write or speak
3 min - I feel angry because…..
3 min - I care about …..
3 min - I want - I propose take action (share in group)
turn what you care about into a 1 min Dragon speaking video to share with us all!! Scary :-) Empowering
Week 2 - Movement Session
3) Move - Embody Change - Activate your voice
Practise somewhere where you can be loud
50-minute Movement Recording
This recording is not background music, this session is carefully crafted for you to feel and empower you, if you use your power to choose by bringing your full attention.
Declare a physical space where you won’t be interrupted and can move freely.
Declare a sacred space and commit fully to the session.
Use a great sound system or high-quality headphones for the best experience.
Week 2 - Practise
4) Dragon speaking
- What do you take a stand for?
Warning this next video is a higher intensity of conscious anger!!
This form of speaking with high anger, is a practise of using conscious anger to be seen, speak up and take a stand for something you deeply care about.
5) Resources for this week - To go deeper into the practice
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Good girl - Good Boy …
"Being 'the good one'
— quiet, kind, agreeable, always putting others first. It’s praised, rewarded, expected. But over time, the weight of it can settle in the body like something unspoken. What happens when being ‘good’ means abandoning parts of yourself? When pleasing others comes at the cost of your own voice, your own needs?There’s courage in choosing differently, in making space for your own truth, even when it’s messy or misunderstood. And with that choice comes the possibility of something softer, freer, and far more real — a life shaped not by who we think we should be, but by who we genuinely are."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekhhudahu4o&ab_channel=ReflectionsofLife -
A translated blog from Grit Müller at https://herzenswege.eu/2017/10/06/wut-teil-1/
For many years I have dealt with the phenomenon "ANGER" - I was "thrown into" my
anger when my son was about 3 years old. I could barely withstand his anger, and at
the same time, for the first time in my life, I was rightly facing my own anger. He left
me no choice - I MUST take care of that, otherwise I would have gone mad - and I
was told that this truth makes so much SENSE.
Again and again in my coaching I experience how powerless people are when trying
to face anger - their own as well as the anger of others.
Recently I was at a great seminar that I will never forget in my life - a seminar with
Possibility Managers Monika Scherze and Dr. Rudolf Lenz, in which we devoted
ourselves to the topic of "anger" for a whole day. The experiences made there have
reached me deeply and caused me to write this blog.
Why anger has a bad reputation
What happens in you when you think of "anger"?
What happens in you when you experience angry people? - And what will happen if
these people are those who are very close to you - your partner, your children, your
closest friends?
Do you think as badly about "anger" as most of us?
Yes, anger has a very bad reputation:
• Anyone who is angry is aggressive.
• He who is aggressive is evil.
• He who is evil must go away, does not deserve love.
This is how we have it in us - that's how our "program" is coded.
Were you encouraged to express your anger - from your earliest childhood, through
your youth to adulthood - to this day?
If you can answer that question with "yes" then be thankful with all your heart - you
were surrounded by very conscious people.
As a rule, as a child we were not welcome with our anger. Of course - an angry child
is uncomfortable for parents who have not learned to deal with their own anger –
plus anger is loud, penetrating, and can be frightening.
And because most of our parents themselves were not allowed to show themselves
in their anger, they acted the way they had learned: they immediately began to
appease us when we went into our anger. They tried to slow us down, forbid us to be
loud, sent us out of the room, or forbade us to be angry.
"Control yourself!" "Pull yourself together!" "Be quiet!" ... these or similar sentences -
they are well known to many of us from the mouth of our parents.
Not infrequently, we also met their own rage massively.
We may even have experienced how people in our family hurt others in their anger -
and maybe we've been hurt ourselves as well. So, in fact, we experienced that anger
can be destructive.
... and that's how we came to understand that ANGER is something bad - something
we must reject. Anger became more and more a TABU !
Let's have have the truth from you - How willingly do you encourage your children to
show their anger - with everything that goes with it? How sincerely do you welcome
your own anger?
Could ANGER be something other than its reputation?
What if you once let anger be neutral and felt what kind of POWER it represents?
Can you feel the immense energy that is in it?
What if you had this power at your disposal?
Who would you be then?
Mostly between the ages of 2 ½ and 3 years we start to show real rage for the first
time - because from that age our "I" develops, and also our "I want" is expressed
now.
We begin to emerge from the pure "I am" and perceive ourselves as "different" from
our environment - the small "ego" awakens - and with it also the POWER of the will.
Of course, the child now also tests its limits - and it feels all the safer and is full of
confidence when it is given those boundaries.
A true boundary simply says "stop" or "no" to a certain behavior - NOT “Stop!” to
letting the child feel what it feels and to begin to learn how to use its will!
It's all about fostering the anger and will of a child lovingly and responsibly-that is, by
no means rejecting the child because it FEELS and expresses anger, and because it
uses the energy of anger to formulate its will - but to invite him to express his anger
in a way in which the child does not hurt himself or others.
Without this power and this will, we would not implement anything of what we want to
bring into the world!
Can you think of a time in which someone carelessly dealt with you or others -
maybe he does this again and again - and you'd rather like to "give them your true
opinion" or at least say an audible "No!" Or "Stop." - but at the crucial moment you
do not get a word out and only afterwards you think of everything you would have
wanted to tell him?
You could not say what you wanted to say because you did not have the power you
needed to say it. Because through the TABOO in you, the power of your anger has
been "stuck" in a childish, unfinished form and you have not yet learned how to use it
for you now - as an "adult" - to say “No!” or “Stop!” when you want to.
Our weakness can be even more extreme when we are dealing with people who are
authorities for us.
But because we judge anger as something negative, we are in resistance to sensing
our neutral anger energy and unconsciously refuse to use our power, even when we
really need it.
What makes the difference
At this point I invite you to become aware of one crucial distinction about anger.
There is anger that we (unconsciously) reject in ourselves and for which we therefore
assume no responsibility. Rather, we play the "saints" and want to be the "good
guys" by suppressing our anger, turning our good faces into bad games, so to say,
or simply staying silent in places where there really is something necessary or useful
to be said. We do not even acknowledge that we feel anger - instead we are "felt" by
it. We are not using our anger. Instead it is using us, for unconscious purposes.
When we really "boil with rage", we see "red" - like the bull chasing wildly behind the
Toreador’s flag.
Unconscious anger shows itself like this:
• We are annoyed.
• We are impatient.
• We are ironic / cynical.
• We prick or blaspheme.
• We are offended.
• We blame others.
• We threaten.
• We wrap ourselves in "icy" silence.
• We withhold.
Can you see yourself here?
Where is our clear message for the other ?!? There is none.
The other only gets to know that we are in resistance. At no time does he get clear
information about what really matters to us.
At this point, the other may read painful expectations in our thoughts, and our
interactions proceed along their well-known course ...
The unconscious anger contaminates everything - yet we do not speak or act in
wasy that could bring about our desired changes. We are really not charge of
ourselves or aware of our anger. Nor can we take responsibility for our state -
instead we find other people to be "guilty".
We are not clear, we do not say what really bothers us and what we want - we are in
opposition to each other instead of in cooperation - we create distance instead of
proximity - we are in resistance instead of in contact.
But what if we consciously perceived and welcomed our anger? What if we could
recognize anger as neutral energy and information for us to use in full responsibility
as a force to do the necessary work for us in a constructive and effective way?
If we consciously take full responsibility for our anger, the inner dialogue would look
like this:
"I feel angry. There is a problem for me right now and I am angry about it. I take
responsibility for my anger and I use it to change the things that need to be changes.
For example I create clarity. I make a distinction. I say exactly what I want or don’t
want. I draw a line or make a boundary.
Then anger represents a neutral energy that puts us in a position:
• to draw a line (say "no" or "stop" or “yes” or “go”)
• to start something
• to finish something
• to clean out something
• to change something
• to make a request
• to make a proposal
• to stand in my own wisdom
In summary, it turns out that anger in the unconscious, irresponsible form is
poisonous and destructive, blocking us from connection - neither with ourselves nor
with others - because we are just in RESISTANCE.
However, if we deal with the energy of anger so that we are ready to feel it and take
responsibility for it, then it is at our disposal to bring us into any ACTION that is
important to us. We are clear, we truly share, we stay in contact and are in our
POWER. -
Make a list of 10 yes’s and 10 no’s - share them in the group.
Chose one yes to take action. -
RESENTMENT – Creating Resentment is the success of the Box and Gremlin blocking you from Intimacy. If you have even one Resentment with someone, then when they touch you, you do not feel their touch. Instead you feel your Resentment. Destroying Intimacy is important for the Box because if someone gets closer to your Being than your Box they can turn around and see that your Box is fake, a mask that you wear, a dead, mechanical Survival Strategy. If you stop Believing in your Box, how can it keep you in Survival anymore? The Box is afraid of losing its job, afraid that if it is not doing its job you might not Survive. Your Box does not know that if you depart from Surviving, you might start Living. The way to make a Resentment is to start by making an Assumption. If you Assume that your Assumption is true that changes your Assumption into an Expectation. If your Expectation is not fulfilled by someone then you create a Resentment in you towards them. Resentments are very difficult to disassemble. The Process for Disassembling A Resentment in you feels like dying. It requires you to destroy the part of your Box that is holding onto the Resentment. You need to take it apart in public. It is far easier to avoid making any Assumptions and to Withdraw Your Expectations one by one forever. The first step to STOP making resentments which are unexpressed RAGE is to practise your anger and notice what you are doing unconsciously with the energy of anger…
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Emotions = Past
Feelings = PresentWhat that means
Feelings help you navigate right now
They’re clear, direct, and short-lived
They tell you: What do I want? What matters here?
Emotions come from unresolved past experiences
They linger, loop, or explode
They tell you: Something old inside me needs attention
The 3-Minute noticing
If it passes through you in a few minutes → Feeling
If it sticks, repeats, or spirals → Emotion
Real-Life Translation
You say something, I feel a quick sting → Feeling
I suddenly feel way more hurt than makes sense → Emotion
That “too much” reaction?
That’s the past knocking on the present’s door like it owns the place.The Driving Metaphor (cleaned up)
Feelings = Adult driving the car
Calm, aware, responsiveEmotions = Old parts grabbing the wheel
Reactive, dramatic, sometimes chaotic
To remember
Don’t use emotions to make decisions.
Use emotions to heal.
Use feelings to live.“Feelings guide your life. Emotions ask to be healed to come back to us as energy for your life!!